Losing the ones who shape us

At 22 I  lost my mentor and very good friend Gene. He was a professor who died suddenly of a heart attack at age 42, leaving  a small group of  students  who were like his extended family. He was instrumental in my choice of career at the time, choosing a graduate school, and I had just spent the summer being his assistant at the Utah Shakespearean Festival. We had spoken on the phone  only a week or so before. Throughout the years I so often wished I could pick up the phone and chat or ask advice, and that he would know what a major impact he had on my life.

In the past few months, my daughters each lost mentors, taken way too young. I know they will forever think of these  women and the impact they have  made. When loss happens, no matter what type, if there is anything good from it, it should make us acutely grateful for the moments we have with those who bless our lives. ​

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Sandy volunteered her time and expertise working with Harley on her preparation for both Miss Americas Teen in 2013 and Miss America this past year. I had the privilege to get to know her as well, she was like a partner mom to me throughout Harleys experiences. 

Sandra "Sandy" J. Nicklas
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Born on December 13, 1946 in Columbus, Ohio, Sandra Elaine Johns, was the first born child of Lt. Colonel James J. Johns and Lillian Katherine Saxon Johns. As the daughter of a US Air Force Lieutenant Colonel, she moved extensively as a young girl, living in Ohio, Okinawa, the Philippines, and Denver, Colorado.  In her early twenties she made Chicago her home.
Sandra graduated from East High School in Denver, Colorado and earned a Bachelor's degree from Central State University in Wilberforce, Ohio.  As a proud alumna, she regularly attended Central State's homecoming festivities. She was especially proud when the University opened the Harry G. Johns Living Learning Center on its campus, which was built in honor of her uncle who is currently the patriarch of the Johns Family.
In 1965, Sandra competed as a teenager in the Miss Denver pageant which sparked her passion to assist young girls in achieving their full potential.  As such, she made the shift from contestant in 1965, to pageant support in 1997, and served as the Business Manager to Kate Shindle (Miss America 1998.) Sandy assisted young ladies in preparing for local and state competitions, as well as the Miss America Pageant. She has judged numerous local and state preliminaries from coast to coast, as well as national and state dance and cheerleading competitions. Of note was her involvement with the Miss Oregon pageant. Sandy graciously worked with Miss Oregon contestants and title holders for many years. She helped them hone their interviewing skills, resume writing, and helped them clarify and define their public service platforms. Upon hearing of Sandy's passing, Dana Phillips (Director of the Miss Oregon Foundation and a dear friend of Sandy's) wrote:  "Those who had the opportunity to know her are forever changed by her influence, her classiness, humor, and elegance. She was a dear friend of the Oregon Pageant family and is survived by many sisters and adopted daughters who will carry her legacy with them always."
Sandy began her career as a United Airlines Flight Attendant on September 9, 1969. She was a forty-eight year veteran and was still actively employed at the time of her passing on December 8, 2017.  She took pride in being a pioneer as one of the first African American flight attendants during a time of racial inequity.  She enjoyed a successful career, and served as a Trainer, Supervisor, and a highly regarded Purser on international flights around the world.



Eularee was the theater founder and director who gave Charlie many roles throughout Elementary and Middle School. Charlie had some amazing opportunities to perform and grow through the programs at Upstart Crow Studios. Eularee was selfless and cared very deeply for the kids who worked with her. I got to know her personally as well through working on scenery and other volunteer work around the theater.

Eula Rebecca (Eularee) Smith (1951 - 2018)
Eula Rebecca (Eularee) Smith, born on September 25, 1951, died in her home on February 27, 2018. She was the founder and Executive Director of Upstart Crow Children's Theater, where no child was ever turned away. 

She was a talented writer, a gifted music teacher and drama coach, an avid baseball fan, a selfless, giving person. She was a loyal, loving wife, mother and grandmother, an exceptional daughter, sister and friend. 








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And Abby, a young volunteer who gave her time to the Miss Oregon program to guide and shepherd teens throughout their time at workshops and at Miss Oregon week. We met her in 2013, and Abby continued to lend her gentleness to calm anxious teen contestants until cancer took her from us.

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Sadly adding another amazing person to this post; I think of Deborah very often, and whenever I need her advice or firm guidance. She was our family counselor that I found by pure chance. She made her own rules, and brought her own experience and personality into her work. She had so much more  to do on earth, and I am so grateful to have experienced some time with her.
Deborah Jean Jackson
12/10/1954 - 08/21/2019
It is with great sadness that the family of Deb Jackson, 64, announces her passing. Deb passed away peacefully in her home with her family by her side on August 21, 2019, after a long battle with cancer. A native Oregonian, Deb was born in Coos Bay and grew up in Wasco, a small town near the Columbia River. Although she originally began college at Oregon State, Deb graduated from the University of Oregon in 1977 with a B.A. in Psychology after marrying her husband, Mike, in 1975. Following graduation, Deb had various interesting jobs as a banker, property manager, and stock broker. When she became a mother, Deb happily put her career on hold to raise her two sons, Benjamin and Samuel, which was the true joy of her life. After raising her children, Deb followed her calling and earned a Master's Degree in Social Work from Portland State University and quickly built a successful private practice as a therapist and family counselor in Eugene.
In addition to being a loving wife, mother, and grandmother, Deb was a strong advocate for all people in need and thoroughly enjoyed her years spent giving back to the community. Of all Deb's passions, nothing exceeded her love for helping people. Her courage, curiosity, and positivity will never be forgotten. She will be deeply missed, but will live on forever in our hearts.
Deb is survived by her loving husband Mike, her sons Ben (Christina) and Sam, her grandson Troy, and other family and friends. ​